"Forgetfulness"

"Holiness, holiness is what I long for

Holiness is what I need

Holiness, holiness is what You want for me"

Do y'all know that song? It's a simple praise and worship song, that repeats, but you replace that first word with these words: Righteousness. Brokenness.

I think there should be another verse with this word at the beginning: Forgetfulness.

Now, I know that seems weird, but consider this verse:

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13b-14

This verse has been a focal verse for me lately. Not many of you may know, but in September of last year, I started a weight loss journey. I have struggled with my weight since I was a kid. I remember playing basketball in grade school, then junior high and some in high school, and always being referred to as the "big girl" by the opposing team. With a few people that knew my sisters and me, I was known as the big sister.

I tried so many times to lose weight. And I failed. If you know me very well, you know I don't like failure. I don't like not accomplishing something. But that's what happened every time I tried to lose weight. I would lose a little weight, then give up after a few weeks. In my mind, I'd failed. After failing numerous times, that hung over my head like a dark cloud. For a long time, I stopped trying to lose weight, because I just KNEW that if I tried to lose weight, I'd probably just fail again. I couldn't forget all the times I'd failed.

But something happened last September. First, I met a now friend of mine who had done something that I had never been able to do: she DIDN'T fail at losing weight. She told me her story and what she had done to lose weight and get healthy. She inspired me. The next week I started using myfitnesspal.com to figure out how many calories I should consume each day to lose two pounds/week, and used that website to log my calories daily. I also started an Advocare cleanse and cut out soda all together. I started eating well-balanced meals--whole grains, lean proteins, fruits, veggies, healthy fats, minimal dairy. And water, water, water is all I drink! I was doing good!

I was started on my weight loss journey, but once again, the fear of failure started sinking in. Until I came across that verse in Philippians. I really studied it, and I realized that it was time for me to turn this fear over to God. It was time to forget my past failures in losing weight. To press on toward my goal of losing weight and being healthy. 1 Corinthians 6:19 reminds me that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and I need to treat my body with the respect that a temple of the Lord deserves.

So far, I've lost 42.2 lbs. It's a slow but steady weight loss, but you know what? It's not a journey that's going to end in failure. Because I know that God calls me to forget my failures and move forward. With Him, I know that it's possible. With Him as my strength, I can forget. And I will NOT fail this time.

Forgetfulness, forgetfulness is what I long for

Forgetfulness is what I need

Forgetfulness, forgetfulness is what You want for me

AFTERWORD:

So take my heart and mold it

Take my mind, transform it

Take my will, conform it, to Yours, to Yours, O Lord